Today, as I finished a training at the office, I got a text from my Mom telling me that my ex-husband was remarried. Her source? Facebook, of course. Less than one month after our divorce was final, there was a new “Mrs. Myers.” Actually, I was never “Mrs. Myers” because I dislike forcing women to derive their identify from their husbands. I was “Ms.” and often hyphenated because marriage did not strip me of my identity. And in divorce, I realized that I am the same person I was before marriage, albeit wiser and more self-aware than I was when I first met my ex.

Why am I sharing this story? Because finding out that my former partner of 18 years had so quickly and completely moved on forced me to do some soul-searching. And Jesse will tell you that I obsess over everything, asking “Why?” and talking things to death. And so it was with this news of the former partner’s apparent marital bliss.

The speed with which my ex and his new partner became engaged and married took me by surprise. I wouldn’t say that I was hurt because I left him and therefore have no right to his future. And I don’t want him back. Our marriage died years ago, sadly, and it took us a long time to come to terms with that. I guess I am glad that he has found someone to love and I definitely do not begrudge him the happiness that he has with his new partner. It feels like it happened so quickly, but he probably feels like it happened just as it was meant to happen. I don’t know because, unfortunately, we really don’t talk anymore.

And now I am getting to the point of this post. The marriage of my ex, something I would never have imagined writing about, much less acknowledging, prompted me to ask myself some questions about what I want out of my relationship with my beautiful Jesse.

What do I want now? Today I realized that I want exactly what I have at this moment. I want this quiet, content, happy life with my best friend. I want this cozy little house with my family of three – me, Jesse, and my Genevieve. I want to have dinner together each day and enjoy our shared hobbies each evening. At night, I want to curl up with this man I love so much and listen to him breathe as he falls asleep. I want drift off knowing that my little girl is safe in the next room, cuddled up with her puppy. I want to wake up every morning safe in the arms of my Jesse, this man who has become so important to me. I love our routine. I love our life. I love us. I love this wonderful second chance at happiness that I have been lucky enough to stumble into.

A year ago at this time I was lost and hopeless. I could not imagine ever marrying again. I didn’t even believe that the world contained a person who could be my partner and best friend. I was determined to create a happy future for me and my daughter, but I did not believe that future included romance and love for me. I was not open to the possibility that, less than a month later, I would receive an email from a funny, smart, geeky man who would gently push until I realized that we were meant to be.

And now that we are here, almost a year later, living this life that I wished for but didn’t believe was possible, I am not anxious to make any big changes or announcements. I am so happy with Jesse that I do not need anything else. That is not to say that I am not open to more. I am simply open to whatever wonderful changes might come, but content to enjoy the moments we have as they come. Marriage is a beautiful thing. What Jesse and I have is more beautiful, more personal, and more real than any other relationship I’ve ever experienced. With my awesomely open-minded and liberal Jesse, I know that I can redefine what it means to be committed to another person. Friendship, love, marriage, parenthood, and partnership mean so much more to me now than they did years ago. This new reality that me, Jesse, and Genevieve forge every day is brand new. It hasn’t been invented yet. We are writing our present and our future as it happens, and this new world we are creating is full of hope and love and all kinds of other good things. I have no idea what will happen next, and for once that is okay. With these two treasured people by my side, anything is possible, and all of it is going to be good. I love my family.